Today I bought knickers. Comfy knickers, you know the sort you swear when you are young you would never be seen dead in. The ones that you hide from your other half, make sure he has left the room before dressing and certainly don't require his assistance to remove them. Yes that time has finally come in my life when I need comfort over looks. You see his Lordship and I are heading off on another little adventure in three weeks time. We will be travelling through Vietnam and Cambodia. So for the time that we are there I will require comfortable clothing and that includes underwear.
However as mentioned above these knickers are not really the stuff to ignite passion. I know that his Lordship unlike Hugh Grant, is not in the Brigit Jones big knicker fan club. What! I hear you cry in my defence, surely with little old me inside them that should be all he requires? Well that is my theory too. So in order to test this theory before the trip and avert any impending disasters I have devised a plan.
Whilst travelling we shall require the use of mosquito nets. Now as any of you who have used them will know, attempting the horizontal tango whilst under them can prove a little tricky. So in order to make my test as authentic as possible I have attempted to recreate the sleeping arrangements we will be experiencing on our trip. However, one small problem I encountered was the lack of said mosquito net. We don't get much call for them here in the north of England. We do however have access to net curtains.
Well I have set up my test 'bed' in the guest bedroom. I don't have a camp bed to hand either but I have managed to salvage an old lilo from the garage. I have draped the net curtains from the side of the dressing table and tucked them neatly under the lilo to make it a bit more authentic. Sadly the curtains have seen better days and it would appear that the moths have had their way with them so they have a few holes here and there. But what the heck a pretty good representation of what is to come I feel.
I have sent a text to his Lordship and told him not to dally at the nineteenth hole after playing golf as I have a surprise waiting at home! So here I am reclining on my net enclosed lilo with said comfy knickers and a seductive smile. Now we'll see if my theory is right.