Ha well I bet you thought the post yesterday was St Jude just getting all above herself and wordy not at all the person you thought you knew. Oh alright I wasn't having a very good day. Don't worry just ignore it and it'll go away.
Now onto more important things. Why can't I comment on blogs that use the two word verification thingy. It doesn't recognise me so I end up being St Anonymous and get sent into the spam folder. As we know most people don't read their spam, am I the only person who actually finds some of it quite funny. Anyway as a result I end up being deleted ad hoc with all my other spammy counterparts. Do I need to do something to change this? Or is it a widespread problem?
See I'm back to my old self again so you can breath a sigh of relief and carry on eating your corn flakes. Have a nice day xx
Wednesday 14 March 2012
Tuesday 13 March 2012
If only..
I stand near, watching you with longing eyes. Hoping that you will see me, yet I am invisible to you.
I speak but you do not hear me.
I listen as you talk with others and my invisible heart which beat as one with yours, aches, a reminder that I am still here.
If only you would reach out and touch me. I could be whole again and I could be 'we' once more.
Monday 12 March 2012
Test Bed Addendum
If you would like to read the Test Bed post first click here
Well if I am honest my test could have gone a little more smoothly. As I lay there waiting for the hasty return of his Lordship my lilo suddenly developed a leak and pitched me off it sending me lurching into the front of the dressing table. After a somewhat undignified wrestle with the nets, I managed to retrieve an elastoplast from the dressing table drawer and patched the leaky lilo.
Unfortunately his Lordship made a rather more hasty return than I had hoped for and I only realised his presence upon hearing much sniggering and snorting from behind me. Not the response I had been hoping for. It would appear that he found the sight of his wife's inadvertent attempt at mooning, with aforementioned moon swathed in copious amounts of cotton and Lycra, exceedingly amusing. Humph! I don't think my attempts at giving the lilo mouth to nozzle resuscitation helped none too much either.
Ah well back to the drawing board. XX
Well if I am honest my test could have gone a little more smoothly. As I lay there waiting for the hasty return of his Lordship my lilo suddenly developed a leak and pitched me off it sending me lurching into the front of the dressing table. After a somewhat undignified wrestle with the nets, I managed to retrieve an elastoplast from the dressing table drawer and patched the leaky lilo.
Unfortunately his Lordship made a rather more hasty return than I had hoped for and I only realised his presence upon hearing much sniggering and snorting from behind me. Not the response I had been hoping for. It would appear that he found the sight of his wife's inadvertent attempt at mooning, with aforementioned moon swathed in copious amounts of cotton and Lycra, exceedingly amusing. Humph! I don't think my attempts at giving the lilo mouth to nozzle resuscitation helped none too much either.
Ah well back to the drawing board. XX
Saturday 10 March 2012
Test Bed
Today I bought knickers. Comfy knickers, you know the sort you swear when you are young you would never be seen dead in. The ones that you hide from your other half, make sure he has left the room before dressing and certainly don't require his assistance to remove them. Yes that time has finally come in my life when I need comfort over looks. You see his Lordship and I are heading off on another little adventure in three weeks time. We will be travelling through Vietnam and Cambodia. So for the time that we are there I will require comfortable clothing and that includes underwear.
However as mentioned above these knickers are not really the stuff to ignite passion. I know that his Lordship unlike Hugh Grant, is not in the Brigit Jones big knicker fan club. What! I hear you cry in my defence, surely with little old me inside them that should be all he requires? Well that is my theory too. So in order to test this theory before the trip and avert any impending disasters I have devised a plan.
Whilst travelling we shall require the use of mosquito nets. Now as any of you who have used them will know, attempting the horizontal tango whilst under them can prove a little tricky. So in order to make my test as authentic as possible I have attempted to recreate the sleeping arrangements we will be experiencing on our trip. However, one small problem I encountered was the lack of said mosquito net. We don't get much call for them here in the north of England. We do however have access to net curtains.
Well I have set up my test 'bed' in the guest bedroom. I don't have a camp bed to hand either but I have managed to salvage an old lilo from the garage. I have draped the net curtains from the side of the dressing table and tucked them neatly under the lilo to make it a bit more authentic. Sadly the curtains have seen better days and it would appear that the moths have had their way with them so they have a few holes here and there. But what the heck a pretty good representation of what is to come I feel.
I have sent a text to his Lordship and told him not to dally at the nineteenth hole after playing golf as I have a surprise waiting at home! So here I am reclining on my net enclosed lilo with said comfy knickers and a seductive smile. Now we'll see if my theory is right.
XX
However as mentioned above these knickers are not really the stuff to ignite passion. I know that his Lordship unlike Hugh Grant, is not in the Brigit Jones big knicker fan club. What! I hear you cry in my defence, surely with little old me inside them that should be all he requires? Well that is my theory too. So in order to test this theory before the trip and avert any impending disasters I have devised a plan.
Whilst travelling we shall require the use of mosquito nets. Now as any of you who have used them will know, attempting the horizontal tango whilst under them can prove a little tricky. So in order to make my test as authentic as possible I have attempted to recreate the sleeping arrangements we will be experiencing on our trip. However, one small problem I encountered was the lack of said mosquito net. We don't get much call for them here in the north of England. We do however have access to net curtains.
Well I have set up my test 'bed' in the guest bedroom. I don't have a camp bed to hand either but I have managed to salvage an old lilo from the garage. I have draped the net curtains from the side of the dressing table and tucked them neatly under the lilo to make it a bit more authentic. Sadly the curtains have seen better days and it would appear that the moths have had their way with them so they have a few holes here and there. But what the heck a pretty good representation of what is to come I feel.
I have sent a text to his Lordship and told him not to dally at the nineteenth hole after playing golf as I have a surprise waiting at home! So here I am reclining on my net enclosed lilo with said comfy knickers and a seductive smile. Now we'll see if my theory is right.
XX
Friday 9 March 2012
The Yorkshire Warriors
Yesterday the sad news came that six more young soldiers had lost their lives in Helmand Province, Afghanistan. Before I go any further this post is not about politics and I care not whether our troops should or should not be there. No soap boxes.
Five of them were members of the Yorkshire Regiment. The Regiment formed on Tuesday 6 June 2006 from the three Yorkshire Infantry Regiments; The Prince of Wales's Own Regiment of Yorkshire; The Green Howards (Alexandra, Princess of Wales's Own Yorkshire Regiment) and The Duke of Wellington's Regiment (West Riding) plus their affiliated Territorial Army units. Collectively, these historic Yorkshire Regiments trace their history back to 1685 the year James Stuart, Duke of York, became King James II. Over time they have become known as the Yorkshire Warriors.
My initial reaction on hearing of the soldiers deaths was that they were just boys who had barely begun their lives. Now sadly their lives are completed and they are at their journeys end. On reading about them through the local, national and media press and also hearing their families speak of them it is clear that these were not boys, they were young men. I suppose the fact that I have lived more than half of my life coloured my perspective.
I find that I cannot empathise with their families, to do this would require me to understand what they are experiencing. How many of us can honestly say that we understand what they are feeling at this time. The emotions created through the loss of their children under such terrible circumstances. I can only imagine, and that is the problem. My children are grown up with children of their own. They are not facing the daily threats to their lives that the young men in Afghanistan are facing. I can only sympathise with their families, and I do.
And that is the reason for this post, it is not about politics, it is not about the rights and wrongs of armed conflict. Those things I will leave to others. I am a parent who loves my children with all of my heart. I cannot imagine the terrible pain caused by the loss of a son in these circumstances. But I will carry them and their families in my thoughts.
In memory of the Yorkshire Warriors:
Corporal Jake Hartley, 20
Private Anthony Frampton, 20
Private Christopher Kershaw, 19
Private Daniel Wade, 20
Private Daniel Wilford, 21,
all of 3rd Battalion the Yorkshire Regiment
Also in memory of: Sergeant Nigel Coupe, 33, of 1st Battalion The Duke of Lancaster’s Regiment, who was killed alongside them.
The Captain, my father, was a Duke, (Duke of Wellington's Regiment) and a Yorkshire Warrior.
Five of them were members of the Yorkshire Regiment. The Regiment formed on Tuesday 6 June 2006 from the three Yorkshire Infantry Regiments; The Prince of Wales's Own Regiment of Yorkshire; The Green Howards (Alexandra, Princess of Wales's Own Yorkshire Regiment) and The Duke of Wellington's Regiment (West Riding) plus their affiliated Territorial Army units. Collectively, these historic Yorkshire Regiments trace their history back to 1685 the year James Stuart, Duke of York, became King James II. Over time they have become known as the Yorkshire Warriors.
My initial reaction on hearing of the soldiers deaths was that they were just boys who had barely begun their lives. Now sadly their lives are completed and they are at their journeys end. On reading about them through the local, national and media press and also hearing their families speak of them it is clear that these were not boys, they were young men. I suppose the fact that I have lived more than half of my life coloured my perspective.
I find that I cannot empathise with their families, to do this would require me to understand what they are experiencing. How many of us can honestly say that we understand what they are feeling at this time. The emotions created through the loss of their children under such terrible circumstances. I can only imagine, and that is the problem. My children are grown up with children of their own. They are not facing the daily threats to their lives that the young men in Afghanistan are facing. I can only sympathise with their families, and I do.
And that is the reason for this post, it is not about politics, it is not about the rights and wrongs of armed conflict. Those things I will leave to others. I am a parent who loves my children with all of my heart. I cannot imagine the terrible pain caused by the loss of a son in these circumstances. But I will carry them and their families in my thoughts.
In memory of the Yorkshire Warriors:
Corporal Jake Hartley, 20
Private Anthony Frampton, 20
Private Christopher Kershaw, 19
Private Daniel Wade, 20
Private Daniel Wilford, 21,
all of 3rd Battalion the Yorkshire Regiment
Also in memory of: Sergeant Nigel Coupe, 33, of 1st Battalion The Duke of Lancaster’s Regiment, who was killed alongside them.
The Captain, my father, was a Duke, (Duke of Wellington's Regiment) and a Yorkshire Warrior.
Wednesday 7 March 2012
Courtesy Call
Ring, ring... ring, ring..
"Good morning Random Bank, Sheila speaking,"
"Oh good morning, how are you today?"
"Fine thank you madam, what can I do for you?"
"Oh this is just a courtesy call to see how you are doing"
"I'm sorry madam, you must have dialled the wrong number, this number is for customer enquiries only," I am detecting a hint of irritation in her voice.
"Yes I know, I'm a customer just enquiring how you are doing, a courtesy call, so how are you my dear, any issues?"
"Is there something you wanted madam our lines are very busy at the moment?" She's not a happy bunny.
"Well I haven't heard from you for... oh all of a week I just wanted to check that you hadn't lost my number, got a little fed up with repeating the same conversation over, and over, and over again or been offended by my putting the phone down on you last time. Well if you are sure I can't be of further assistance I need to go, very busy woman, oh I think I've just found some fluff in my navel." Click.
This is St Jude Mmr, Cjd, Nut, Dip Py, until my next little cultural experiment signing off.
xx
"Good morning Random Bank, Sheila speaking,"
"Oh good morning, how are you today?"
"Fine thank you madam, what can I do for you?"
"Oh this is just a courtesy call to see how you are doing"
"I'm sorry madam, you must have dialled the wrong number, this number is for customer enquiries only," I am detecting a hint of irritation in her voice.
"Yes I know, I'm a customer just enquiring how you are doing, a courtesy call, so how are you my dear, any issues?"
"Is there something you wanted madam our lines are very busy at the moment?" She's not a happy bunny.
"Well I haven't heard from you for... oh all of a week I just wanted to check that you hadn't lost my number, got a little fed up with repeating the same conversation over, and over, and over again or been offended by my putting the phone down on you last time. Well if you are sure I can't be of further assistance I need to go, very busy woman, oh I think I've just found some fluff in my navel." Click.
This is St Jude Mmr, Cjd, Nut, Dip Py, until my next little cultural experiment signing off.
xx
Monday 5 March 2012
It Has To Be Done
Well it has only been waiting for twenty years, not long in the scheme of things. My mum's old knitting machine has finally found a new home. No longer is it languishing in various parts of my home. No I finally put it on free cycle on Saturday morning and I couldn't believe how many people wanted it. Honest I put that I hadn't a clue how the thing worked or even if it worked. I put that I had lots and lots, and lots of boxes of attachments, lots of it, not a clue what it all does. Still they kept coming in their droves to my email inbox. A nice lady has been to collect it today. She seemed awfully pleased with it. She acutally seemed to know what all of the boxes contained... I could have told her, bits of knitting machine.
Ah well, bye bye knitting machine, I will miss stubbing my toe on you as I attempt to shimmy my way past you. I will miss the big hairy spiders that love to hide in your boxes only to scurry out as I am doing my shimmy, making me stub my toes even harder. But I won't miss the memories of my mum sitting at the table whirring the carriage back and forth whilst listening to her favourite music. I will always have those memories. They were not included on free cycle. xx
Ah well, bye bye knitting machine, I will miss stubbing my toe on you as I attempt to shimmy my way past you. I will miss the big hairy spiders that love to hide in your boxes only to scurry out as I am doing my shimmy, making me stub my toes even harder. But I won't miss the memories of my mum sitting at the table whirring the carriage back and forth whilst listening to her favourite music. I will always have those memories. They were not included on free cycle. xx
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